If you've ever had shower sex that made you feel like a wet chihuahua—shivering, uncomfortable, awk AF—you're not alone. Getting dirty in the place that gets you clean is far more complicated than any rom-com (side-eyeing you, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Friends With Benefits) or porno suggests.
For one, it's slip central (tile + water + bouncing bodies = you better have health insurance). Two, water is not (I repeat, NOT) a lubricant—in fact, it can actually make you feel more dry than wet (I know, the irony). And last but not least, there is absolutely nothing sexy about accidentally taking a gulp of hot water up your nose or in your mouth when you're trying to get your O on.
But before you cross shower sex off your sex bucket list for good, you may want to give it another go. "Shower sex can be really hot because it has a sense of urgency to it—you're not going to stay in there for an hour," says Janet Brito, PhD, a clinical psychologist and certified sex therapist in Honolulu, Hawaii. "Plus, hot water is relaxing and sensual, and seeing each other naked and wet can be a huge turn-on."
Shower sex may be the one time parents have enough privacy to indulge in a quickie sesh, Dr. Brito explains. If you've got kiddos constantly running around or if you're living with roommates, parents, etc., hopping in the shower might be the only time you can fit in your interruption-free, one-on-one time with bae.
Ready for some steamy shower sex? These tips will make shower sex hotter—and safer:
- Add a non-slip bath mat.This one's a no-brainer, but you probably don't have one, do you? A rubber bath mat with suction cups will give you and your partner real foot traction. It's the only way to safely tackle shower sex, since just worrying about slipping is enough to keep you from climaxing. Try this top-rated one from Gorilla Grip.
- Start when you're already turned on.Foreplay isn't the easiest thing to get going in the shower—there's not a lot of space to be creative. If you can, before you get to the real steamy stuff, Brito suggests first having play time in the bedroom or bathroom (making out, touching) until you're both raring to go. Bonus: You'll save water. (Yay for being green!)
- Have a designated foot stand.If you don't have a luxe bathroom setup with a built-in bench (if you do, I'm jealous), investing in a water-resistant seat or foot stand will seriously expand the range of shower sex positions you can break into. A wooden one with wide slats works well (just keep it out of the direct water stream as much as possible).
- Avoid oils, but use lube.Sudsing up with a bath oil can be hot, but it can also make things very, very slippery. You do want to bring in a silicone-based or natural lube, though—despite being a liquid, water can actually create more friction between you and your partner's genitals. So grab the lube, and apply carefully to both of your nether regions before you step into the shower (so it doesn't drip onto the floor, making it slick), says Brito.
- Mind your leg position.
When your body overheats (which it definitely can in a steamy shower), your muscles get lax and you can pass out—eeek. It doesn't happen often, but to be extra-cautious, make sure your and your partner's knees are never locked out for max stability. - Point the shower head toward your torso or legs (if you can).Angle the water to hit against your and your partner's backs, chests, and legs instead of faces or heads. And point it so that it's not directly hitting your genitals—as mentioned, shower water can cause more friction than fun slip-and-sliding.
- Use soap for sexy exploration.Important: Sex doesn't need to include penetration in order to be intimate. Take some super foamy soap and use it to explore each other's bodies through gentle touching and massaging. Sometimes this kind of relaxed intimacy can feel *even better* than the (at times) complicated AF penetration you're used to thinking of when it comes to shower sex.
- You'll still need to wash up afterward.Dr. Brito explains that when having shower sex you still need to be mindful of personal hygiene and safety the same way you would with any other sexual activity. That includes using condoms or dams!
